Our heroine survived anorexia, depression and abusive relations. Her path to inner peace and happiness was not simple. But the result is worth the effort. What unpleasant feelings accompanied her along this path? And how not to allow the difficulties to knock us down?
In 2014, I was diagnosed with anorexia, orthorexia (psychosis of a healthy diet) and depression – and all in one session with a psychotherapist. Despite the fact that completely different problems brought me to an appointment. I could not recover from relations with my former, Abuzer. The “emotional inheritance” that he left did not give me the opportunity to build a healthy relationship with a new partner.
I was young, very scared and absolutely lost. In 2015, depression and food disorder returned, and with a vengeance, and I thundered to the hospital. In 2018, I had the most
severe episode of depression – things were so bad that I even tried to commit suicide. Life turned into torture, I just did not see the way out.
But now, three years later, I am still alive – and even like! In fact, now I am more often than ever, I feel a state of calm happiness. I have a wonderful loving partner who respects and supports me.
Today I am not the same as it was a year ago. Now I am a completely different person. To this point I was brought to me to fundamentally change my life (because in that, past life I was infinitely unhappy) and years of hard work. I managed to free myself from the power of depression and eating disorders (RPP).
And you know what I understood? Spiritual growth is not easy, and the feeling of happiness does not come immediately. Rather the opposite: it happens in the process it is painful and unpleasant, but this is not a reason to turn back. Let me tell you about the unpleasant feelings that arose throughout my path, so that you know what to be prepared for.
Growth and development are associated with a variety of changes. Our perception of the world and the attitude of others are changing (they simply cannot but react to what is happening to us). Even if it seems to you that this particular road will lead you to a better life, it is impossible to be confident in this.
Any change is a risk. And the fear that something will go wrong, sometimes even paralyzes the most powerful people of people. Don’t follow this feeling. Continue to move to your goal, no matter what obstacles arise on your path.
Feeling of isolation
Starting to deal with my depression and the RPP, I began to question what seemed to me indisputable truth. She stopped accepting other people on faith about how to live, stopped focusing exclusively on their examples. And, of course, pretty soon found herself alone with her struggle.
I was not yet ready to tell others about the pain that I experienced, and about the discoveries made by me. And she suddenly realized how difficult it was for me to communicate with those who were not trying to grow. I sought to get up at the helm of my life and move straight to happiness, and many of my friends have firmly stuck in a state of victim. So I was very lonely. But over time, new people appeared in my life – those with whom we look in the same direction.
The unknown scares many of us. So much so that we prefer to endure the life that we do not like, instead of taking a step forward and trying to change everything. I myself was like that. Sometimes I unbearably wanted to regain a sense of stability, security, confidence. It was not easy to resist this desire. But if I had not done something radically new, not at all characteristic of me, I would not be where I am now.
With personal growth as with ice cream: I tried one spoon – I immediately want more and more. The body and mind simply cannot calm down, consciousness draws paintings, which very soon life can become. And it turned around around the clock stress. But it was precisely the same thing that spurred me to move on. I knew that I could stop only having reached the goal.
You think Joan Rowling did not begin to doubt himself when publishers refused her one after another to publish Roman about Harry Potter? And how. But in the end, she waited for the moment when her talent managed to see.
This is normal – from time to time to doubt your abilities. The main thing is not to let this uncertainty be confused. Every time you overcome such a “attack”, remind yourself that this is just a trap of your consciousness.
Serious changes are always associated with a certain degree of discomfort. Always!
We have to sacrifice something. But this is how it happens quite often in our life: when we learn to ride a bicycle, and when we study the textbooks, preparing for the exam. Discomfort is a sure sign that you are on the right track and soon in your life there will be long -awaited changes.
So, having experienced several or all of the above feelings, do not let them fool themselves and bring down from the way. Continue to move forward, explore yourself and your desires and change your life for the better.